Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
are you so shy because you have an std?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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