News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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