i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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