never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
