Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
so let's talk penis.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
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I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
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In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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