What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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