I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
even my farts smell like vagina
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize