There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
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why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize