i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
