Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize