UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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