If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
