i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
