made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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