Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
