How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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