he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
My breasts were aching with rage.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
