I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
