i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
pop tarts are not kleenex
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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