I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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