Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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