My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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