you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
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THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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