why do cheetos always look like penises
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
