I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
