Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
