There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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