Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
