youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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