the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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