You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize