How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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