I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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