Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
