nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize