i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
