Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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