is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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