Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm determined to sit on that face.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
