I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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