How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
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