My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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