How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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