im about as happy as oj after his trial
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
