i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
