Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
