Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is wine microwaveable?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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