Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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