i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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