I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
