Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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