So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
