Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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