is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
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