Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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