I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
