that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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