I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
